Tuesday, April 5, 2011

What Does Not Bend, Breaks...

I don't know how to describe the past month or two except to say they have been rather chaotic. Chatoic, chaos, disorder, overwhelmed, tired, stressed, etc... these are words that have crept into my everyday vocabulary the past few weeks and I have been using them way more than I would prefer to.

Yesterday I had two insights that I shared with Melissa. The first one being that the "mess" in my downstairs office is directly proportional to how out of control I have felt the past few weeks and the mess that I have felt my life has become. The second insight was that every day, every week the gap between list of things I am accomplishing vs. the list of things that I need to get done is growing wider, and wider, and even wider which in turn is causing even more distress.

So... Nothing is bad. Let me get that straight but right now and recently there has been a lot to deal with.

In order to get things (and myself) back on the right track I am taking a few days off next week to just sort of hang out around the house and get "caught up." It won't be a heavy running week as I will be tapering for Desert Rats. A perfect time to decompress. I plan to clean up the office... do some yard work, read a lot, watch movies and as I said just hang out. Maybe go for some day hikes with the dogs or even go fishing for a day. Cigars will be smoked.

As Don Juan told Carlos Casteneda, one needs to be able to stop the world in order to "see." I am hoping to accomplish this next week on my little break and to once again be able to see, experience and feel all of the great things I am blessed with and fully appreciate life cause one thing is for certain, life is way to short to be constantly stressed out over crap. :) I'm just really lucky I have someone who is loving and caring and respects me enough to allow me to experience, feel and go through what I go through, patiently, with tolerance and without judgment and allowing me to work though my own little process and coming to my own conclusions, insights, and ultimately growing as a person. Thanks honey. I love you.

Side note... I am really looking forward to bowhunting this year. Exploring some new areas to go to and that is fun. I miss doing map work, scouting, etc.

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