It has been a tricky week. I've written my RR100 postmortem but I am not going to post it. Bottom line I just didn't have a good day, period. I had a bad day, bad days happen and when they do there isn't much that you can do about them except carry on and do your best. Trust me though, from a confidence point of view it is quite shocking that my 40 mile split from Leadville to Twin Lakes last August is right on par with my first 40 mile split last weekend, hence the tricky part of this week, just trying to get my brain around that, rationalize it, reconcile it, let it go, etc. It is tough. RR100 had a finishing rate of 58% last weekend compared to 85% the year before and I still think that factors into things too.
I came up with a new theory after this race and that is that if you spend too much time on a course, there comes a point where the course just consumes you, erodes you from the outside in and it isn't exactly linear. Once things start to go to hell.... they do and it gets worse way much quicker. I think the best way to do it is to burn oneself up from the inside out, consume more of the trail/course before it consumes you. Does that make sense? Speed... run harder and feel more of that discomfort that enduring more hours spent on the course being even more uncomfortable.
That being said, I really want to finish a 100 more based on speed, not strength, endurance and pure fricking will. It is going to take more work and to be honest I hope that I have the bandwidth for it, the capacity for that kind of speed. Confidence is really in the crapper right now.
So I need to get back to work and start working on my overall speed again and that is what I am anxious for. Also to see that I haven't lost anything. Of course if I went out today I'd just suffer and do poorly and end up even MORE discouraged. I am still getting faster, I know it, this past weekend was just not my time to show it yet.
Physically I am coming around. My left cankle is pretty much gone and right cankle is about 75% gone so not too much swelling left. The bottoms of my feet where I had blisters and it was all just abraded is now in the totally itchy phase of healing. All of my toenails are good and I won't be losing any. Go figure, my toes actually always fare rather well.
So right now I want to run but can't and more importantly won't. I will sit on my ass till next Friday and my first post RR100 will be in sunny Mexico which is one of my favorite places to run. I will just do some light runs there to get my legs moving again and once I get back I will start focusing on the rest of 2012 and my next goal, the Salida Half Marathon on March 10.
Kind of a slow weekend around here, I am oncall tonight. Melissa is reading all weekend and Sunday we are going to see a movie. No running. :)
Have a good weekend everyone.