Saturday, December 29, 2012

Life With Roxy

Roxy 2006 Monument Valley Park
Neither simple or complex words can describe the heartache and grief that I have experienced since this Wednesday.  I had to say goodbye to Roxy my friend and constant companion for many years.  Roxy was not just my dog, I was her human and that was the way it always was.  Even before I really got full ownership of her it was always obvious when I would see her, whom she was most attached to.  Of course the feeling was mutual.

I won't go into any great detail but I owe that dog my life.  Through a couple of very, very rough years she kept me here, gave me reason to not give up and just gave my life purpose overall.  She kept me alive.  Of course the heartbreaking truth is in the end is that ultimately I was not able to return that favor. As hard as it was I had to make the decision on the 26th of December at 12:30 that I did.  I could not bear to see her in the condition she was in and to ask a creature that was once so strong, proud and independent to endure anymore would have been just plain wrong.  It fucking sucks and hurts more than anything else I have experieneced I think, but I had to say good bye.  I had to make that decision and I held her until she was finally resting and at peace.

It will be challenging for anyone to understand the bond that I had with Roxy and just how much I miss her. Losing her feels as painful as losing a parent and a child at the same time.  She was with me though many of my life transformatons the past eight years and I was with her through all of her life stages as well... When I got her she was an unruly teenager of sorts, then she matured into a strong young adult, then for a spell I felt chronologially we were peers, then she became a middle-aged broad as I used to call her and then finally the most elder family member.  All of this we experienced together.

My brain can't really grasp that she is not here and is not coming home.  It is worse at night.  Nighttime is the hardest because the getting ready for bed ritual is now disrupted as she is not in her bed and we don't get to cover her up in her blanket.  Her bed is empty.

Roxy touched A LOT of lives.  She was always the center of attention anywhere she went.  She was always happy.  She even changed my mom's mind and her opinion of Pit Bulls and if you know my mom you would know that getting her to change her mind about anything is nothing short of a miracle.  Roxy was a strong presence.

I was not ready for this.  Not by a long shot.  When Roxy first started having problems on the 12th we thought that she was initially just going blind.  No biggie.  She could adapt and be fine but as the days wore on for two weeks it became quite evident that something more sinister was afoot.  Sight, smell, hearing, and ultimately all muscle coordination were gone.  It was devestating.

There will never be another Roxy. Period.  I was so fortunate to have her for all of the time that I did and experience and share my life her.  I learned so much from her over the years as well. I want to share a deal of my photos and our adventures with everyone.  I hope you enjoy them.

Roxy and I elk hunting 2006.  Apparently the cot IS big enough according to her.

Roxy in the TJ 2007 going elk hunting.

Roxy and I are on Barr Trail Thanksgiving 2007.

Annie and Roxy on the loveseat.

Roxy Italian Creek 2005.

Roxy Italian Creek

Roxy Italian Creek

Roxy Italain Creek

Roxy and one of her other humans, Kent.

Great picture.  Christmas 2008, and it took duct tape to keep the hat on.

An old phone pic so from my RAZR in 2006 I believe.

She Loved, loved, loved her blanket.

Roxy 2006 on the incline.

Typical night for many, many years.

Whose house???

On our huge assed cross country roadtrip.  We ate, drove, slept in the truck.  One hell of an adventure!

One of many walks with Roxy and me having a cigar. Spring 2009.

May 2009 on the lawn.

She might have been a little spoiled.

June 2005 when I got her 100%

June 2005 when I got her 100%

Look at those eyes!

Beautiful and she knew it!


In the middle of remodeling.

On Barr Trail 2006

Keeping me company.

Roxy, Kent and Annie.  I love this photo.  2009.

Getting the outfit on was not easy at all.

Halloween 2005.

Roxy at 7-8 mos.

Roxy coming down from Italian Mountain

Roxy taking a break after hiking all day.

Roxy and I at Italian Creek 2006.  Coolest place in the world right there.

Mountain top.

Roxy on the Ark in Salida, 2009.

On a run, on a trail somewhere.

Roxy and Asia last year.

Roxy, 2004 at the townhouse.  I was dogsitting/visitation.

Roxy, Halloween 2004.  She was not happy.

At Chuck's Barber Shop.  He always let her come in when I was getting my hair cut.


Roxy at the park.

One of my favorite all time photos of Roxy.

Roxy in BV, August 2008 on our way to elk camp.

Roxy on Papa Carl Brook's cot in Elk Camp.

Cigar walk, Sept 2009. N. Tejon.

Roxy at Four Corners.  Sept 2007.

Christmas 2009.

Winter 2006.

In the back of the TJ/Jeep.

Sunning herself in elk camp.

Camping with Roxy.  2007.

Out in the boonies, August 2006.

Ormes Peak, December 2006.

Camping 2007.

Elk Camp.  She is bedded down by the stove and the woodpile. Smart dog!

Pass Creek Trail.

Annie and Roxy, Pass Creek.  May 2009.

In the Cherokee, rady to go. May 2009.

Pass Creek Hike.

Pass Creek Lake, September 2009.

Camping, Summer 2008.

Camping, summer 2008.

Up in camp, 2010 by the fire.

Sleeping in her bed in the tent.

Roxy, Annie and Melissa, Feb 2010.

CC April 2010.

She loved Matzos!

Headed to Leadville for a few days.

Roxy and Asia in the Jeep, spring 2011.  You can see GOG in the BG.

I love this one...

That smile! 

January 2012 by the bridge.

Very old photo, not sure when but... downstairs in the basement with me.

Old... maybe 2005.

Barr Trail, 2007.

Monument Valley Park.

Elk Camp 2010

Annie and Roxy on a hike.

Hunt elk all day, come back to the tent to find this... :) 

Roxy loved Melissa from the beginning.  The only other human Roxy would really ever walk or go anywhere with.

They were always so beautiful together.

Roxy seven months old.

Some random camping trip.

Bowhunting 2005.  I love this photo as she looks so angelic in it.

With me flyfishing fall 2010.

in the tent at night.


Flagstaff, 2007.

Fall, 2006.

Another camping trip.

2007.  She loved the sun.

Roxy and Reggie, just 3-4 weeks ago.

Roxy on her final day, December 26, 2012.

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, My baby you'll be." 


  1. Andy great tribute to Roxy. And I completely understand. I had to put down my Husky many years back at 13. Hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I thought I'd never want another dog. Max came into our lives a few years later. Every now and then the thought of that inevitable day will come with Max and I shudder. This really breaks my heart and I certainly understand.

  2. Crying.

    So glad you got to have her in your life.

    She was definitely loved.

  3. What a beautiful tribute to a life's companion.

  4. Sorry, buddy. I have wrote similar posts in the last few years. Tough stuff.

  5. Sad to hear. Can relate man. Glad you made this canine's life all the sweeter.

  6. RIP Roxy! Great photos of a happy (and yes maybe a lil spoiled) girl! My fave is you guys @ ItCreek where she's got her tongue out. My best to you & the fam... :(